An excerpt from Esther Perel on Parenting & Sexuality

“I cannot tell you how many people will devolve into creating the family that they loved and then become desexualized. Why? Because if our head is screwed up well on our shoulders, we do not want sex in the family, so women disconnect from their sexual self, and men disconnect from the sexuality of the woman. Sometimes the same thing happens between two women, where the role of parenting becomes so overwhelming that it requires stuffing down that other energy. Why? Because the erotic energy goes for adventure, goes for inconsistency, goes for novelty, goes for mystery. All what eroticism thrives on is what family life defends against. 

What is a good remedy for this? Find ways to connect through movement. Hike, bike, dance, but don't just sit and talk, because it's too much in the same mode. It engages the same parts of you as when you discuss family matters. Three, create an erotic space, a space where you just are. Not to be sexual again, but in which sex may emerge because you're enjoying each other's presence. That may be lie down and just listen to music on occasion”.